Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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