Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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