So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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