If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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