She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
