I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
