Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize