What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
