Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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