I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
