Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
