Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
