Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
