Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
