wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
