On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
