I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
