Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
