so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
