"it" just moved
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
