i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
