I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
