I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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