i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
