the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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