so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
