dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
