? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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