i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
