so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
