i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
