You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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