there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
