Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
