So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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