someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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