Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize