i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
