I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
