I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i think i have herpe
just one?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just found puke in my bra..
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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