whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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