Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
