Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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