Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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