another moral hangover. fuck.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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