so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
