Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
