If i come over, it means nothing
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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