he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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