Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
