So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
