is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
