Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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