Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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