How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
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