so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I woke up under a house in Key West
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