You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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