Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
