now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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