for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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