forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Randomize
