when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
