Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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