Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
