Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
