Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
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