I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
