there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
