How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
