The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
