Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize