Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
