I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
