have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
