he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
