i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
