so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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