Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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